INVESTING IN MOMMY

It has been way too long since was sitting on the back of a horse and actually rode.  I am not talking about the occasional trail ride, I mean an actual RIDE. 
Collecting and extending strides, flying lead changes and sliding stops.....
Before I was blessed with little ones, I rode nearly everyday, literally for hours.  I miss the instinctive guiding with the weight of my gaze, the shift of my weight, the touch of my leg.  When you ride a horse that truly knows you and what you want, without all that tugging and kicking and nonsense, there really is nothing comparable. 
After both of my last two children, I endured periods of post-partum depression along with the normal weight gain.  Terribly embarrassing to admit, especially for me because I am so stubborn, independent and proud, but so very real and uncontrollable to develop. I would weep at nothing, hurt all-over, be utterly exhausted, so much so that I couldn't sleep, fly off at the nothing as well.
When I was young and ignorant, I believed that mental problems were a sign of weakness.  Boy, was I wrong.  Dealing with and overcoming depression was one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. 
The wonderful thing is, you can do things to improve your own health.  One important thing is to find or return to something that gives you joy, that make you feel whole and amazingly good about yourself. 
For me it is riding....So I am investing in myself, my mental and physical well being.  I have decided to send my two mares to put 30 days training on them, so that when they come home, I plan on making time for me. 
Riding is such great full body exercise, you use nearly all your muscles to retain balance and physically move with the horse. 
Lord, knows that I need to improve my physically shape.  Yikes. 
I am not worried about a number, as in a amount of pounds.  Just to make sure that I feel good, regain my muscle tone, tighten up a bit of this fluff and help to speed up my metabolism so that my energy supply is increased enough to help me keep up with these little monsters who call me "Mommy".

A little pearly white tooth....

Breastfeeding your baby is amazingly easy, once you get past the first month. Concieving, being pregnant, birthing children are all enough of a power trip individually, but also providing all of the new little person's nutrition for their first year of life is hard to rival as a very vital responsibility. I am proud to say that I have been successfully nursing my infant daughter for 10 months now. No bottles, no pacifiers, just me au natural. I don't plan on weaning her until she is good and ready and I have no idea as to when that may be. But,now I am afraid of this tiny little tooth that is poking out from my little, sweet Laurel's gums. I think about it everytime she needs to feed. I know it is silly, but more teeth will follow this first one and I am putting a sensitive part into her little mouth, even though now it is a safe mouth. But for how long.....

BEFORE I WAS A MOTHER....

I the spirit of Mother's Day, another horribly over retailed holiday, I decided to do something for myself as an overworked mother. I have been wanting to get some therapy for the stressors in my life. I cannot afford the retail therapy, don't have time for massage therapy, worried that they would commit me if I went in for pysch-analysis. So I hope that this blog will touch others around the world who deal with the same things as I do. For me this blog will be my public journal, a therapy of sorts to help preserve my sanity. Hopefully to those of you that read this regularly, it will make you smile, cry or even laugh out loud.

Before I was a mother...........
I was selfish,
I had free time,
I used the bathroom ALONE,
I walked out the door with only my purse,
I didn't know what I was missing.

Now that I am a mother.........
I have become unselfish,
I now have very little free time, if any,
When I need to use the facilities, I have little people watching,
When I leave to run errands, I need more than two hands,
my heart is now complete and full of a love I never understood until now........
now that I am a mother.